I was lucky in that when I had my oldest daughter I had two boys before her. I also had a girl and a boy after her that gave me other benefits, but the two children before her were the first place I noticed problems.
At least for a little while I attributed some of the differences between number 1 daughter (#1D) and the boys to the fact I might not know as much about raising girls. The boys were eight and almost five by the time she was born. We were pretty set in our ways, to borrow a phrase.
Well right around six months I remember taking stock of our lives. As a parent of infants I did that after several of my children. Anyway I decided something was seriously wrong. At that point I was not smart enough to know about the formal ‘signs of Autism’ that everyone talks and reads about now. I just noticed the differences.
The boys could communicate and communicate well before a year old. Now I do not mean that they spoke sentences and had deep conversations. I do mean that they babbled, particularly when they heard me talking or just wanted my attention. The boys could also point or make motions to let me know things. I did not think one of them would ever stop pointing at what they wanted instead of talking. I also knew that son could talk and did not want to though.
My baby daughter did not show the slightest sign of doing any of these things. What is more is she did not seem interested in making what she wanted known. As time went on she did not acquire words the ways my boys did. Her first single word was ‘eat’ and we did not get that one till around 15 months. By then we were starting to get services and therapies but I was still interested in the differences.
#1D also did not respond to her name. She was between 15 and 18 months the first time. I can remember it as clear as day. She was sitting on the floor. I got up to look at the bulletin board. As I turned back to her I said her name. She looked up and made eye contact.
That was probably the first time she responded to her name. It was also one of the few times she initiated eye contact. She did not smile. She never smiled. She hardly ever smiles even now at 22 years old. It is still one of the best memories of her toddler years I have.
All of these are early signs of Autism characteristics. Not babbling, pointing, or making meaningful motions, not speaking one word till around 16 months, not combining two words by around 2 years, not responding in some way to their name, not making eye contact, and not smiling are a few of these signs that we experienced.
If you do not have older siblings think about cousins or playmates. Think about how the skill level compares. I am not recommending comparing children to see who is better but something a little more basic when you are looking at an Autism diagnosis.
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